Coming Soon

Chaos

A Memoir

By Baadal Kakkad

A first-person account of surviving a seven-year addiction, family abandonment, and stage-3 cancer. And what I built on the other side. This isn't a self-help book. It's a forensic analysis.

Read An Excerpt Get The Book

From The Book

A Passage

A different excerpt each time you visit. Read more than one. It's all the same voice.

What This Is

The Book

I wrote this because somewhere out there, someone is sitting in front of their own jail video screen, writing their own desperate letter, apologizing for having feelings to someone who has already decided their pain doesn't count.

I was that person for forty-two years.

I didn't write this to be read as literature. I wrote it as a flashlight and a map. If you've made it to the other side, the duty is to go back and show people where the teeth are before they're already inside it.

That's what this is.

The Thesis

The system wanted me to think love was the weakness when it was the key to escape.

Who It's For

Read This If

You've spent your life apologizing for feelings that weren't wrong.
The people who were supposed to love you made you feel like the problem.
You survived something — addiction, illness, abandonment — and you're trying to figure out who you are on the other side.
You're still inside it. You don't know how to get out. You don't know if you can.
You recognize the pattern but don't have the words for it yet.
Someone you love is going through it and you want to understand.

When It Drops

Get The Book

Chaos will be available in print and digital. Sliding scale pricing — the point is getting it into the hands of people who need it, not making money off it.

Exact pricing and release date coming soon.